Healing takes work. It takes focus, discipline, honesty, and the recognition that we deserve to be happy. We can achieve peace and contentment despite what has been done to us, said to us, or what we have done and said to others. We are all equally capable of giving and receiving healing and we all equally deserve it. So, how can we authentically heal? 

Step 1: Feel your feelings

We have a knack for hiding what we really feel and that can sometimes be a good thing particularly in professional situations where we need to practice self-control. But when we’re in need of healing we must feel safe to express our feelings. If you imagine suppressed negative feelings like anger flow inside you like little toxic trolls waving their fists blocking the feel-good energy from moving around your body. Healing occurs when we stand up to these trolls and challenge them; by feeling your feelings you’ve taken their power away and now you can dissolve them and begin to heal.

Step 2: Forgive yourself

Forgiveness is hard to do. If we’re asked to forgive others it can feel like we’re letting them ‘off the hook’ and they’re getting away without consequences for the pain they’ve caused. Instead of trying to forgive who and what feels unforgivable instead start by focusing on forgiving yourself. Whatever we’re blaming ourselves for we need to turn it around and forgive ourselves instead. Start a list entitled: “I forgive myself for”: and then list the lot. 

Step 3: Embrace your worth

When life has knocked you down repeatedly you’d be forgiven for thinking there isn’t much about you worth saving. You’d be wrong. Life is almost always worth living. Finding a purpose is what keeps most of us ticking over. Whilst there is breath in your body you have a purpose to serve. It’s the rules. Smile, help, hold a door open, donate a quid. Do something that pushes the energy around you into progressive, forward motion. Refuse to stagnate. Refuse to let anyone else win your race.

Step 4: Be a good citizen and be prepared

There’s a wonderful quote about healing and snakes of all things. It goes like this:

Before you’re healed you’ll play with a snake and it doesn’t matter how many times it bites you, you keep playing with the snake. During healing, you recognize it’s a snake, but old habits die hard so you’ll play with it anyway. But once you’re healed you’ll recognize a snake and run a million miles to avoid it; you might even keep on running just to make sure you don’t feel the need to say hi and then try and fix the snake.

Be prepared and always lookout for the person or circumstances that might tempt you backwards. Maintain a healing practice so you’re never caught out. And always go back to step 4 and remember your self-worth. 

Step 5: Remember: comparison is toxic. There is only one you. Do not try to be anyone else. You are the one who matters.